Honesty Anyone?

To reach my office, I generally take a train to Kurla and then catch an auto rickshaw (auto or rick in local lingo). People think I’m rich but the fact is I’m too lazy and impatient to wait for a bus and then sit inside it for an hour and a half and then walk for 15 minutes to reach my office especially when I’m already running late (I’m always running late by the way). A rick takes me there faster and right at the gate too! (could be made into good ad copy for the Autorickshaw union..)

Anyways, a few days back, in the usual morning rush I jumped into the first rick I saw (not bothering to stand in the long line at the stand...I told you I’m impatient). Well, just as the driver started the vehicle, a traffic cop appeared. It seems the auto driver should have gone to the stand instead of parking somewhere else and taking a passenger.

So, this cop asks the driver to hand over his license and papers. The boy ( he couldn't have been older than 20) tried talking his way out to no avail. The cop kept asking for the papers. The boy asked him “Kya karoge”, and the cop replied “100 ka fine lagegaa. Chal tu pavti dikha..” And what does the guy do? He takes out…not the documents the cop asked for…but a 20 rupee note. I cant say I was shocked…from the time the cop stopped the vehicle I was sure the guy will have to pay him...but the cool way in which the driver flashed the note before even showing the cop his papers sort of set me thinking where we are headed as a nation. I mean we don’t even think before handing out bribes. Won’t it be better if we pay the fine to the govt. instead of the officials? I mean out of the 100, even if 50 makes it way back to some kind of development any where in the city, state, or country, isn’t that better than paying off an unscrupulous govt. official?

Maybe I’m being crazy to think that way, but c’mon, you’ve broken a rule and the best way to make amends is to help someone needy…not the “friendly” cop who is anyway supposed to be doing his job and gets paid for it! You want to save money? Don’t break the traffic (or whatever) rules in the first place! You save 100 instead of 80.

Well that’s the way I think.. I know it won’t help eradicate corruption or anything.

Coming back to the incident, what surprised me a little was that the cop refused to take the money and instead on seeing the paper he was asking for! I mean I don’t know if that was because he was an honest guy (wow..that would be something!), he didn’t want to take the money coz I was still in the rick (everyone’s scared of sting ops), or maybe 20 wasn’t enough! Your guess is as good as mine…I didn’t stay long enough to find out.

Happiness?

This is something I've started but am not yet sure where it will lead...there are so many paths and I'll have to chose one! Oh the vagaries of trying to write fiction...

It’s Friday. It’s my birthday. My friends are happy. I am not. They will party for free. I will have to pay.

What is the big deal with birthdays anyway? It just marks the day I was born. I am not happy that I’m alive. Why should I be happy that I was born? But, my friends want a party. It will make them happy. Maybe if I see other people happy, I will feel happy.

What’s happiness anyways? Is it a smile, a hug, a song? Can I record it and play it again and again when I feel I need it? They say they’ve made a drug for happiness. Will it give me real happiness or an illusion of happiness? I don’t want an illusion. I want reality. But, my reality is not very pretty. Maybe I should live in an illusion. I’ve heard illusions can be very pretty.

I think I should go now. My friends want to go. They have decided where to go. I should just go with them. I want to stay here. But they’ll need my wallet. And they’ll need someone to cut the cake before they can eat it. They are nice people, my friends. They think they can cheer me up. That’s what friends are for they say.

Who are friends anyways? People talking, laughing, and crying together? But what if one person does not have anything to talk, laugh, or cry about? It can happen you know…it happens to me.

Did you just say family? Ha…what family? I don’t have any family…lots of relatives but no family. No no…don’t say sorry…my parents are alive and so are my so called siblings…but they’re not my family.

What is a family anyway? A group of people who live for each other, fight for each other, cry for each other? Well...if that’s true then I don’t have any family…I lost them when I lost my…

My First Story: Part 2

Thanks to Everyone who like the first part and wrote such beautiful comments. Thanks also to those who read it but said nothing...I'll assume you liked it ;)

And for those who haven't read the first part...go and read it!! Please don't read this without reading the first! :)

Here's the rest of the story and I'll wait for your critiques...

And then the unexpected happened.

“I think you should go Kaveri.” Saket called out.

Kaveri and Vikas turned towards him, surprise and bewilderment written large on their faces.
“What?!!” They cried in unison.

“Yes, you should go with Vikas. I know you really want to be with him. You need him as much as he needs you. You are holding yourself back only because of me. But, I don’t mind…I really don’t. I only want to see you happy. I think its time we put all our demons of guilt and insecurities at rest. All of us need to start afresh. Vikas has taken the first step by coming here today, and we should do the same. I know it will be difficult but we’ll always be in touch and visit each other often.”
Saket’s voice heavy and emotional but it was also determined. Kaveri knew he meant what he was saying. She was now completely confused. The two men were tearing her apart once again.

Just then the little girl woke up and started crying. Vikas couldn’t seem to comfort her, so Kaveri took her into her arms. The kid fell silent almost as soon as Kaveri picked her up.

“See…she’s already fond of you. She isn’t comfortable with strangers, but she has warmed up to you so easily,” Vikas coaxed Kaveri.

“You haven’t told us her name yet,” Kaveri said in an effort to stall for time as she decided what to do.

“Kavya – her name is Kavya. I named her after the woman I love, admire, and respect the most in my life – you.” Vikas answered quietly. “I want my daughter to grow up to be like you – caring, unselfish, loving, understanding, independent, and strong. I want her to imbibe all the qualities I failed to imbibe from
you.”

His words touched her immensely and Kaveri hugged him warmly. Vikas pulled back from the embrace and walked up to Saket.

“My Dad passed away when I was very young. Mom would always tell me that he was one of the most understanding and compassionate persons she had known. And today, I know he must’ve been just like you. I now know what I lost when I left you all. But I don’t want it to happen to my daughter. I want you also to come with us.
We can live as one big happy family. Will you come?” Vikas implored in an
emotionally charged voice.

“Calm down Vikas! This is not a decision we can make so easily. There are too many things to be thought about. We have others...my kids to think about. I’m not sure we’ll be able to come there and live with you permanently. But, I assure you we will always be one big happy family. In a family where you live, how close or how far, is not important, but how you live is important. Even if we have to live apart, we’ll always be in close touch with each other. We’ll all be there for you and Kavya…always. Won’t that be enough?”

“Yes…yes...it is much more than what I had wished for. I had come here for Mom and now I have you too! I’m more happy than I could ever be!” Vikas replied, relief and joy filling his voice.

“But, there is one more thing I want to ask from you…” Vikas ventured, nervously.

At Saket’s gentle, encouraging glance, Vikas asked him haltingly, “Can I…can I call you Dad?”

Saket could only hug him for an answer.

Kaveri felt her heart overflowing with joy and love. She had received all the happiness she had wanted all at once. Her husband and her son were finally at peace with each other and she was at peace with herself. She had been torn with grief a few minutes ago and now she had everything she had asked for – her life was finally complete now.

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I hope I have sufficiently shocked and surprised you people...in a nice way of course! :)

My First Post

Hey! I'm on blog world too!!
People have been telling me its a little unusual for someone like me to not have a blog. So I thought, "Okay! Let's try this."
But now that I have created one, I can't really figure out, what should I write?

Hmm..this is my first post...so maybe I can post my very first story here...I posted a part of it somewhere on a forum and my friends have been asking me to put up the rest. Well, I don't have the entire story typed out yet (I wrote this one at least 8 years back and I didn't have access to the wonders of the computer)...But here's whatever I have till now and I'll post the rest soon...

“Vikas Verma arrives in city” – screamed the headlines. Kaveri sat down in a daze, the newspaper slipping from her hands. All the memories that had haunted her for the past 15 years came flooding into her mind.

“So,” she thought, “He has returned as the business tycoon he had dreamt of being.” It had taken him 15 years to realize his dream...their dream. Fifteen long years…and she had followed every step of his journey, thrilled with his success…sad with his setbacks.

She looked at the photograph below the headline. He looked so much older and wiser, but he was just as handsome as ever…and her heart fluttered like it always did. She tried to quell all her emotions as she read the article.

He was now the most successful Non Resident India (NRI) in Canada. Moving to Canada from the U.S. after a PhD in microelectronics had been a huge risk that had paid off for him. Building an empire from scratch is something you read in fairy tales and he had made it come true for himself. He owned a conglomerate spread over 21 countries. But he wasn’t just business, he had a huge heart too…giving away a huge chunk of his profits to charitable organizations worldwide. In fact, he had come back to India after all these years to open a home for street kids. According to unnamed sources, he was here to fulfill a long-standing dream and inaugurate the home to commemorate his father’s 25th death anniversary. His private life was just that - private. He managed to keep his personal life away from the intense media scrutiny that anyone in his position would be subjected to. Most people knew only the basic facts: Indian by birth, he’d finished his schooling and moved to the U.S. to complete college education. After college he’d spent a couple of years working for a multinational to pay off his college loans before branching out on his own. The rest as they say was history. No one knew anything about his life before he moved to the US. His wife and three-year-old daughter had accompanied him on this trip. The trip was rumored to be more personal than official. The mystery surrounding Vikas only made him more alluring to the media...speculations of reunions and mergers were strife. The man was dynamic, successful, and famous, yet he was an enigma.

Kaveri put the newspaper down. She could hardly think clearly, her head was a whirlwind of emotions. She was very happy for him, proud of him. He had fulfilled all his ambitions. By opening the home for street children, he would be realizing yet another dream…a dream they had seen together. If things had gone the way they had planned, she would’ve been the one inaugurating the home next week. But now, she was no longer a part a part of his life, his dreams. And she could not hope to be either, not after all that she had done to him.

She thought back to the days when she had been the center of his life and he had been of hers. All his dreams, all his plans for the future had been for her. They had been so happy and so content in their own world that they had not needed anyone else. They had had no one else, just each other.

And then, one day, Saket had stepped into their lives and everything changed…

Saket had been transferred from another city and was her immediate boss at work. Kaveri had liked him from day one, but with Vikas it was the exact opposite. Vikas met Saket at an office picnic he had accompanied Kaveri to. He developed a strong dislike for Saket from the moment they met. The fact that Saket was a divorcee seemed to rattle him. And Kaveri’s friendship with Saket engendered the animosity further.

Kaveri on the hand enjoyed Saket’s company. She had never realized that there was something missing in her life until she had found Saket’s friendship. There were so many things she could share with Saket but not with Vikas. But as their friendship had blossomed, she had started losing Vikas. He resented her growing friendship with Saket and told her so. Kaveri had tried to let go of the friendship, but circumstances and her own need for Saket’s presence in her life had made it difficult for her to do so. She thought Vikas would understand that he was always the most important person in her life but she also needed Saket’s friendship.

She tried reasoning with Vikas and explaining her stand, but Vikas had already formed his own opinions. All her explanations, pleas, and arguments had fallen on deaf ears. Finally one dark stormy day, matters had come to a head and Vikas had packed his bags and left her.

He always told her everything, but he had not told her that his long awaited visa had come through. He had been accepted at a top-notch university in the United States. The college had given him some financial aid and for the rest he had managed to get a loan.
Kaveri was shocked. They had planned to go to the US together as she didn’t have anyone else here. But that morning Vikas had announced that as she had Saket in her life now, she didn’t need him…she was no longer alone. And so, he had left without her…

His sudden departure had devastated her, and she had suffered a mental breakdown. Saket had stood by her through it all and nurtured her back to normalcy while trying his best to contact Vikas. But, Vikas had left no hint of where he was headed to. They’d finally managed to track him down after 6 months but he had not responded to their letters or phone calls.

Two years later when Saket proposed to her, Kaveri had accepted. She had loved him with all her heart, but she could never give her 100% to the marriage. Guilt gnawed at her every day and no amount of counseling seemed to help her with that. Even after all these years, she felt her life was missing something and she wished she had handled things differently with Vikas. He had been her whole world and without him she was incomplete. Her life had come to a virtual standstill the day he left.

Now, he had returned after 15 long years and more than anything, she wanted to meet him, talk to him. But, would he want to meet her? And would Saket like it if she went to meet the person who had been the invisible wall in their relationship? “I think you should meet him my dear.” Saket’s voice startled her and she turned to see him standing behind her. “It’s high time you put your demons at rest. He’s seen more of life now. Talking to him will help straighten things out between the two of you. Even if it doesn’t change things, you’ll at least feel better about it. You may be able to lead a more normal life then. Maybe he’s here for the same.”

“You could always read my mind. Thank you darling.” Kaveri murmured as she went into his open arms.

A couple of hours later, as Kaveri was trying to get Saket to accompany her to meet Vikas, they heard a car come up their driveway. Kaveri reached the door just as the bell rang. She opened it and was stunned to see Vikas standing before her. In his arms, he had a little girl who seemed to be asleep. Kaveri stood there, rooted to the ground, hardly able to believe her eyes, while Vikas gave her a nervous smile and ran his fingers through his hair.

Saket was wondering what was taking her so long when Kaveri came in followed by Vikas. It was an awkward moment as all three of them stood staring at each other wondering what to say. Saket was the first to recover.

“Hello Vikas! This is a great surprise. Please do sit down. Is this your daughter?” Saket ventured, trying to break the ice.

“Yes...yes she is my daughter… I hope I’m not…I’m not intruding…?” Vikas whispered.

“Of course you’re not! If you wouldn’t have come, we would’ve come to meet you.”

“Really?! Would you have come?” Vikas replied a little incredulously.

“Yes of course! Hmm…why don’t the two of you talk while I go and get you something to drink? I’ll be right back.” Saket disappeared into the house leaving Kaveri alone to deal with her confusion.

The silence stretched into minutes. Kaveri was wondering how to begin…how could she even begin to explain? Vikas felt the same and so they both kept quiet.

“How’s your wife? I…I read that she’s come with you too…her name is Karen isn’t it?” Kaveri finally managed. It felt funny…she didn’t know anything about his wife!

“Yes, her name is Karen. She’s at the hotel. She’s doing fine.” Vikas replied…a bit reluctantly Kaveri thought. She looked at him enquiringly, she knew him too well…there was something he wasn’t telling her.

After another long pause, Vikas let out a sigh and said, “Actually Karen and I aren’t getting along too well these days. This trip is also supposed to be a last ditch effort at making our marriage work. But, I have to admit, it hasn’t been going too well.”

Kaveri was shocked! “What happened?!”

“Well, nothing big actually…just don’t agree on a lot of things…we get into long and heated arguments for the silliest of reasons. Put in a few ego hassles on both sides and everything pretty much falls apart,” he answered sadly.

“That cannot be a reason for a marriage to break up! I’m sure these issues can be resolved!”

“I knew you’ll say that. But, I’ve lost hope…there’s nothing really left between us. I had rushed into the marriage without really thinking. I’d misunderstood my own feelings…the way I’d misunderstood yours…” He took a long breath before continuing, “I…I need to ask something from you…it’s not forgiveness, for I know I don’t deserve it. I’m…I’m completely lost and lonely now…I need you.” Before Kaveri could respond, he rushed on, “I know I’m being selfish and inconsiderate and a lot of other things but I really do need you. I have everything most people would ask for in life…but my life still has a big hole…because I’m not with you! To have left you is my biggest mistake...I was just too immature to be able to understand your feelings then…but you naturally were always the more understanding and supportive of the two of us. I am yet to find anyone who can understand and love me the way you did. To tell you the truth, that is the main issue between Karen and me. I keep comparing her with you and she just doesn’t measure up. Not her fault really, no one can ever come even close to you. No one can take your place in my heart. It took me some time to realize it and even longer to accept it.”

“I know you have another family here, but couldn’t you forgive me and come with me? You’ll be happy there, I promise. I’ll make up for all the 15 years we have lost. I know you can never hate me, I know you miss me as much as I miss you. My daughter needs someone like you to love her, understand her, and be there for her. I…I don’t know what else to say except that I love you and miss you and I wish I hadn’t left you, ever.”

Kaveri was stunned; she could hardly believe what Vikas had just said. As she was wondering what to tell him, she turned to find Saket standing there with a look on his face that said it all…he had heard what Vikas had said.

After what seemed like an interminable silence, Kaveri started speaking slowly and quietly. “Fifteen years ago, you packed your bags and left me all alone. I’m not accusing you; I understand why you did what you did. But this man here, Saket, gave me his unconditional love and support when I needed it most. If he had not taken care of me I would’ve been either in an asylum somewhere or dead. Today, you cannot appear out of nowhere and ask me to leave the man who has given me only happiness. I know what happened then was partly my fault. I failed to give you the security you needed. You were the only one who mattered to me then, but now my priorities have changed.”

When she saw Vikas’ stricken face, she added, “Please don’t misunderstand me. I still love you. You are a part of me; my life is incomplete without you. But, this is my home now. I have to stay with my family, this family…here.”

Her voice was breaking along with her heart as tears flowed down her cheeks. But she knew she was doing the right thing. She owed Saket her happiness, her life, everything.

“I understand. I knew you’d say this…but then hope never dies. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. But can I call you sometimes and maybe meet you when I come down next?” Vikas whispered, his eyes streaming with tears as well.

Kaveri could not bring herself to answer and just nodded her yes.

Vikas walked slowly to the door, his daughter asleep on his shoulder. Kaveri’s heart went out to them. She could feel the pain in her heart increase as they moved away from her.

And then the unexpected happened.